DM Coaching and Development

Schadenfreude and the Sisterhood

I recently attended an event at my club, the University Women’s Club in Mayfair in London. It was a roundtable discussion on collaboration between the fashion, architecture and science industries. I had just spent the day coaching at the Sanger Centre, so the topic had great resonance for my work with scientists. As we were discussing, one of the speakers remarked on the challenges she faced in bringing projects to fruition and the lessons these “failures” imparted about risk. She said “Risk means having to bear other people watching you fail.”
 
That struck a deep chord with me. I have faced many naysayers who have been surprised at my choices: to move to Europe, to leave a well-paid job to set up my own consultancy, to focus my work on a niche group of women – those who work in male dominated fields. Every step of the way, other women, and some men, have questioned my wisdom in making those choices. Each time, when things felt ‘wobbly’, I have felt all too acutely the gaze of the ‘sisterhood’. Taking a risk means opening yourself up to public scrutiny and potential failure – whether it be a move to a new role, starting something on your own, even moving to a new industry. Schadenfreude; the pleasure in watching others struggle and even fail, comes to mind. The key is in remembering that you are mostly being ‘watched’ by people who actually want you to succeed and who may resent you simply for making choices about which they could only dream.

Women Good at Closing Ranks to Gain Upper Hand

According to a new study to be published by the Association for Psychological Science, women may not be less competitive than men - they may just be using a different strategy. The study involved volunteers playing a game against two other competitors which accumulated points for money. The participants were given three options of how to play; by themselves, with one other partner forming an alliance against the third, or by all competing together and splitting the profits. With these instructions there was no difference between men and women in the number of times they chose to form an alliance. However, when some of the volunteers were confronted with the possibility of social exclusion by being told that if they selected the compete alone option they would “run the risk of being excluded by the two others” female volunteers chose the alliance option more often than men. The option of preemptive social exclusion was more favourable to women, despite the worry of alienating others, than being excluded themselves, whereas men were more concerned with being beaten. Read more stories on risk taking and office politics here.

Is Your Job a Poisoned Chalice?

Are women appointed to top jobs set up to be scapegoats for problems they didn’t create?  The Harvard Business Review recently looked at this phenomenon they called the “status-quo bias” where a male-run company that is doing well was looking for a new CEO, 62% would prefer a man. However, if the company was facing difficulties, 69% wanted a woman. Bruckmuller and Branscombe, the lead researchers say: “As long as a company headed by a man performs well, there is not a perceived need to change its leadership. Only if male leaders have manoeuvred an organisation into trouble is a switch to a female leader preferred”.
 
So it’s business as usual until there’s a problem. How do you climb the ladder while avoiding this glass cliff? Start off by accepting a degree of risk-taking is inherent in any job. However, as Michelle Ryan of the University of Exeter points out: “They are often appointments where everyone else is hanging back and the woman is approached by someone saying ‘you say you want more responsibility and to progress, here’s your chance.’ It is key to understand you will only be able to turn things around by getting the public support of senior staff and board members. Make this your first job before taking on any senior position. Find more stories on career planning here.

The Nom de Plume: Why One Female Writer Used A Male Name for More Money

If you have been looking for a short-cut to better pay and greater respect away from the glass ceiling- you have to read the article by James Chartrand, the copyblogger - a female writer who for years chose to work under the name "James" simply to earn more money. It is shocking how much more money and better-received her work (as a professional female!) was when she simply changed her name. She writes "The answer was plain. Without really thinking much about it, I tried an experiment when I chose my new pseudonym. Taking a man’s name opened up a new world. It helped me earn double and triple the income of my true name, with the same work and service. No hassles. Higher acceptance. And gratifying respect for my talents and round-the-clock work ethic. Business opportunities fell into my lap. People asked for my advice, and they thanked me for it, too." I won't spoil the rest of her great blog piece, but it is one of those stories that you don't know whether to laugh at her ingenuity or cry at the lack of justice in it all.  

Kudos to Start the Week...Isn't it Refreshing to be Told When you are Doing Something Right?

Like most of my professional female coaching clients, self-doubt can certainly rear it's ugly little head with me too. Like women everywhere, I am prone to somehow having dog-like accuracy for hearing any comments I perceive as negative - and yet can be deaf to compliments :) So in practicing what I preach, I wanted to share a little of went right last week.  Friday kicked off my Beyond the Boys' Club Boot Camp. Setting it up has been a real learning curve and while I was nervous beforehand, it went brilliantly with a few people even e-mailing me later that same day to tell me what profile-raising activities they were now doing, like requesting to make a presentation to a new committee and contributing a article about their niche area to an industry magazine. I was so pleased, and very excited about working with this group of aspiring women. And I also had the loveliest e-mail from a Isabella Brusati, a reader of BTBC, who liked it so much she bought it as Xmas gifts for her high-achieving girlfriends! Her sister said the book "opened my eyes!" and that she resolved to use 2010 to put into practice all the great techniques and tips. Thanks Isabella for getting in touch, and all the other clients who make my work so rewarding!

In 2009, Did you Seek Out the Scary Challenges?

  One thing I have noticed about the successful women I interviewed for my book "Beyond the Boys' Club" was how many of them have not only accepted tough assignments, but actually sought them out. It's the extreme version of "feel the fear and do it anyway" but if you are intimidated by a certain task - public speaking, accounting, presenting to clients, running a marathon that is a great indication what you would gain by surmounting the challenge. I grew up thinking I was not good at maths. I needed special tutorials and my mum would frequently say ( as a means of reassuring me, I know) that "we Doyle's are just not cut out for maths". I believed it... and I avoided maths for years. When I got to design my thesis project at the University of Cambridge, I was given the option of collecting my data qualitatively or quantitatively. The martyr in me chose the quantitative route and used statistical analysis. Whilst I had moments of thinking "what did I get myself in to?" when trying to get my head around ANOVA'ss and regression analysis, the feeling of achievement and confidence that came with having my thesis accepted - statistics and all, was one of the highlights of my career. What challenge are you avoiding? What would you get if you took it on? If you are thinking about what you would like to take on in the new year, being part of the "Beyond the Boys' Club Boot Camp" that I am running starting January 8 may be just the incentive you need to seek out the challenges that will mean the most to you in 2010.    

Managing Risk: Bite off More than You Can Chew, But Not So Much That You Choke

By all means take on challenges, they are the only way to grow. However, remember women are prone to sometimes taking on too much. The key is to challenge yourself on the side of what is reasonable - the "manageable risks". You will fail occasionally - we all do. But that is where the greatest learning comes from. As a famous golfer once remarked, "The more I practise, the luckier I get". If you find yourself taking on more than you can handle or having too many failures in a row, it is time to scale back on the challenges and reflect which ones are the important ones to you. Women often say they are "stretching themselves too thin" but the truth is often that they are merely too hard on themselves, too impatient, too much of a perfectionist...or very likely some mix of all three. Women who are successful in male-dominated fields are particularly ambitious and while this trait leads to their greatest achievements, it can also be their cross to bear when taken to the extreme. They key is in "biting off" the challenges that are the highest profile, mean the most to you and then delegating the rest so that you don't choke on own success.

Where are the Female Venture Capitalists?

If you are looking for one of the newest old boys' clubs around, look no further than the world of Venture Capital. As explained by venture capitalist, Nick Leiber in a post on the New Entrepreneur "As the father of a capable, ambitious daughter, perhaps I’m over-sensitive to the issue, but since becoming a VC seven years ago, I find it amazing that only 5-10% of the VC industry is made up of women. Only 25% of all VC partnerships have a single women partner and only 7-8% have more than one women partner." Nick cites all types of reasons there may be fewer professional women in the industry from risk-aversion, the clubby atmosphere that excludes women, lack of female mentors to hire women into the field and the pervasive problem that most VC's have technical backgrounds in either technology or science - areas where there are fewer working women. He points out, like a small but growing number of men can attest to, this problem needs to be addressed since the field is losing out 50% of the talent pool. I admit this question has been on my mind as one of my current clients knows that venture capital will be needed to take her fashion retail business to the next level. Why do you think there are so few women in venture capital?  

Plans for Women to Be First Astronauts in 1950's Scrapped

It turns out that in the 1950s when researchers were deciding who could best handle the rigours of space travel, scientists deemed women the stronger of the sex. A fascinating article "A Woman in Space" details the first archives of space research where scientists felt that women were the natural choice to be the first astronauts in terms of physiology and practicality. "They recognized that women's lighter weights would reduce the amount of propulsion fuel being used by the rocket's load and that women would require less auxiliary oxygen than men. They knew that women had fewer heart attacks than men and their reproductive system was thought to be less susceptible to radiation than a male's. Finally, preliminary data suggested that women could outperform men in enduring cramped spaces and prolonged isolation." The article goes on to explain that, surprise, surprise, despite the fact that there were indeed well qualified female pilots available, the plans met great resistance further up the government food chain and that eventually, plans to use professional women at all were scrapped in time for the world to see John Glenn orbit the earth in 1962. Makes you wonder, where would be today if "Joan Glen" had been the first?

Alpha Females can Outperform Men in Finance

This past Sunday, the Times ran "Hedge Fund Heroines Outdo Men in the City" about the few women who are doing well in the downturn and indeed whose investments are outperforming their male colleagues. I think it is fantastic to celebrate their successes, especially in the financial sector, a field that is among the least welcoming to women. However, we mustn't allow examples of the very few women who are breaking through the glass ceiling suggest that discrimination is not pervasive.  As found earlier this year, " by the Equality and Human Rights Commission found that women employed full-time in the City were often sidelined into relatively low-paid support roles, receiving on average 80% less in bonuses and 47% less in salary than men - in a report ordered by Harriet Harman, the women’s minister, to shed light on the “hidden discrimination” in the City. Kudos indeed to the top earning women, but there is still much to do in helping more professional females get to the top, and succeed as women, not in spite of the fact they are women.