DM Coaching and Development

At DMCD we concentrate on just two things:

1. helping professional women develop political savvy, heightened visibility, stronger sense of career direction and increased overall confidence.
2. helping organisations to develop and retain the female employees who will lead them into a rapidly-evolving marketplace.

Speak With Conviction - Is that OK?

I was interviewed recently by a journalist who wanted ideas on how women can be taken seriously in meetings. I offered a few tips, including one which I didn’t think was particularly contentious; “Change ‘Perhaps we should be looking at the impact this decision might have on future work?’ to ‘We need to consider the impact this will have going forward.’ Be definitive – not the ‘curious woman’ who poses statements she knows the answer to, as questions. The journalist then came back to me asking me to change the ‘declarative statement’ I had offered, because she thought it sounded too “aggressive.” Now aggressive is a word all working women run screaming from – it’s a worry that too frequently keeps us from speaking our minds in an effort to ‘play nice’. This journalist is a friend, but I went back to her and said that perhaps the reason my suggested change sounded aggressive was because, as a woman, directive statements and declarative tone was not something she normally used.  A day later, and on this same point, a friend, Janine Stewart, sent me this fantastically funny youtube video about the importance of speaking with conviction which sums it up even better than I can. Enjoy! For more stories on profile raising click here.

Are You A 'Ghost' on LinkedIn With Something To Hide?

A colleague told me about a recent discussion she overheard on the importance of a headshot on your online profile - namely for sites like LinkedIn. Strangely I had been discussing this in one of my coaching sessions with a group of women in business. I was surprised at the violent reaction some of them had against having a profile shot, let alone a professional one. When I questioned them, some felt that they would be judged by their photo. Obviously they wanted to be judged on meritocracy demonstrated by the career experience and achievements. In an ideal world of course this would be the case. However, we all know the statistics about first impressions and online your first impression is your profile photo - you can’t get away from this, it’s right at the top of the page! So what first impression does it give if you have no photo?  Apparently this is known as a ‘Ghost’ on LinkedIn. Or what does a blurred picture, perhaps from the security badge you got on your first day say? Is that a good look? The vast majority of those I speak to feel that ‘Ghosts’ have something to hide, or not committed to the idea of even having a profile. They would feel more comfortable with someone who had a professional and engaging photo that would tell them something about their personality. I’d love to know your thoughts. Would a photo or lack thereof affect your decision to reach out to them? For more on profile raising click here.

Schadenfreude and the Sisterhood

I recently attended an event at my club, the University Women’s Club in Mayfair in London. It was a roundtable discussion on collaboration between the fashion, architecture and science industries. I had just spent the day coaching at the Sanger Centre, so the topic had great resonance for my work with scientists. As we were discussing, one of the speakers remarked on the challenges she faced in bringing projects to fruition and the lessons these “failures” imparted about risk. She said “Risk means having to bear other people watching you fail.”
 
That struck a deep chord with me. I have faced many naysayers who have been surprised at my choices: to move to Europe, to leave a well-paid job to set up my own consultancy, to focus my work on a niche group of women – those who work in male dominated fields. Every step of the way, other women, and some men, have questioned my wisdom in making those choices. Each time, when things felt ‘wobbly’, I have felt all too acutely the gaze of the ‘sisterhood’. Taking a risk means opening yourself up to public scrutiny and potential failure – whether it be a move to a new role, starting something on your own, even moving to a new industry. Schadenfreude; the pleasure in watching others struggle and even fail, comes to mind. The key is in remembering that you are mostly being ‘watched’ by people who actually want you to succeed and who may resent you simply for making choices about which they could only dream.

Moving Beyond The Boys' Club Webinar

Last night I led a free webinar with The Corporate Toolbox on “Moving Beyond the Boys' Club”. I concentrated on strategies for raising your profile and getting credit for your work, and the interaction was fantastic. People had great comments about what has worked for them and insightful questions throughout, which made for a lively hour. One woman excitedly agreed that publishing, speaking and leading internal meetings had indeed made a huge difference for her career – particularly as she did them in several languages! The good news is that we don’t have to be bi-lingual to get recognition for our efforts. Certainly, that is a fantastic way for her to stand out and be remembered, but presenting in ANY language about the achievements of you and your team at conferences, to other divisions within your company, and clients is a great way to step up your game.   There were certainly some friendly faces on the call including one Londoner who said “Just wanted to say that I saw Suzanne last summer and have been applying the get your 10% rules  by emailing people success stories, self promotion through presentations, making time for coffee and lunches with different people and it's paid off!  I was recently headhunted to work on the Olympics and preparing London for them!  Beyond the Boys Club principles have helped me and my career soar!” To hear the FREE replay of the webinar you need to sign up here.

The Myth of the ‘Spontaneous Promotion’ and the Career Lies we Tell Ourselves

I was speaking at a scientific research centre recently and asked the attendees why they had come to the workshop. One woman named the myth that I think so many of us believe in. She said: “I’ve been working hard on a genomic research project for my team for the last 3 years. We are about to  publish the research, and my boss certainly has gotten a good amount of publicity from our collective efforts. I have made sure the research team ran smoothly every step of the way and I thought he would recognise my efforts. I keep waiting for a ‘spontaneous promotion’ that has never come. I don’t know what I am doing wrong!”
 
The truth is, she is probably doing nothing wrong. She probably has been working reliably and diligently. The trouble is, there is no such thing as a ‘spontaneous promotion’. Most promotions are the result, not just of hard work and good delivery, but of being vocal that you would like new responsibilities and a promotion, and achieving greater public recognition of your value to the team. Certainly, bosses sometimes come to us with opportunities or roles we may not have expected – but make no mistake – this is not ‘spontaneous’. It will be the result of something your boss sees in you. Bosses are not mindreaders – tell them about the potential they should see in you. There are more articles on Career Planning here.

Men discuss future with Mentors, Women discuss the present

In honour of International Women’s Day Accenture released the results of a global study on attitudes towards women in work.  One of the topics covered was mentoring a subject discussed a lot recently with two additional reports published by Catalyst and the Center for Work/Life policy. All of the studies confirmed the importance of mentors - and that almost equal numbers of men and women were benefiting from the use of a mentor - but what was interesting was how men and women use their mentors in different ways. Women talk about issues that are facing them in their current position whilst men use their sponsor to help them climb the career ladder and win promotion. The Accenture study illustrates that women are missing out on getting the critical career growth conversations, and whilst men are asking for promotion women are opting to take further education as a way to develop their career. I think this is a red herring – women often assume that more education will lead to the progression they are not making fast enough. It’s as if once they have that further degree, employers will have to take them more seriously – which they won’t necessarily. Look around – do the people who are climbing the ladder all have further degrees? If not, don’t assume another degree will get them to sit up and take notice. Both companies, and the women they hire, need to realise that executive women aren’t getting the support they need. Women who want to climb the career ladder need to proactively seek out a mentor who will help them move up and recognise their talents and achievements rather than encourage them into more education. You can find more articles on mentoring here.

Women Good at Closing Ranks to Gain Upper Hand

According to a new study to be published by the Association for Psychological Science, women may not be less competitive than men - they may just be using a different strategy. The study involved volunteers playing a game against two other competitors which accumulated points for money. The participants were given three options of how to play; by themselves, with one other partner forming an alliance against the third, or by all competing together and splitting the profits. With these instructions there was no difference between men and women in the number of times they chose to form an alliance. However, when some of the volunteers were confronted with the possibility of social exclusion by being told that if they selected the compete alone option they would “run the risk of being excluded by the two others” female volunteers chose the alliance option more often than men. The option of preemptive social exclusion was more favourable to women, despite the worry of alienating others, than being excluded themselves, whereas men were more concerned with being beaten. Read more stories on risk taking and office politics here.

Does Feeling Like A Fraud Make You Anxious At Work?

Jonathan Berent, a psychotherapist and business performance consultant has worked with over 10,000 professionals and says anxiety, ranging from mild to intense, on the job “is an epidemic.” He says that whilst it is normal to feel nervous at times, there is a spectrum and in some cases the anxiety can take control preventing people from functioning in their job. There are five basic triggers, and not surprisingly, one of the most common is the fear of public speaking. Others include interacting with authority figures, taking on new challenges and perfectionism. The final one - the fear of being noticeably nervous - in conjunction with any of the others increases anxiety further. Feeling like a fraud can manifest itself in worrying whether your boss or coworkers believe you are capable of doing your job or know what you are talking about. This then prevents you from volunteering for assignments or trying a new challenge. The good news is that techniques can be learned such as recognising the adrenaline and looking at facts logically. For example realising that the reason you have been asked to chair a meeting or speak to the team is because of your expertise in that subject. In my coaching with women in business I recommend they start small by practicing with their team and increase the frequency of speaking until they are ready to move up to the next level. Don’t wait to feel 100 per cent ready before you take up opportunities, take a deep breath and say yes, or you may never be asked again. There are more tips and advice on speaking, and being comfortable in raising your profile, in my book Beyond The Boys’ Club.

Workaholic – But Don’t Care?

Last week, I had another slap-in-the-face kind of conversation with my stepdaughter. She was visiting, and over dinner, when my husband was telling us about a conversation he had at work, she announced she did not want to be like my husband, Geoff or I. She said “You live to work! I just want a 9-5 job I can go to and forget about at 5:01!” The strength of her feeling was such that we wavered between feeling attacked and sorry for her. We explained we both work so hard because we both love our jobs. We only hope she finds a career she loves so much she would give extra hours, socialise with colleagues and essentially show the passion, that her father and I do. She seemed unmoved by this argument. It was an odd feeling, being pitied by her when we often worry for her future, and whether she will get the qualifications for a job she loves.
 
I related the conversation to a friend who agreed she saw a greater sense of disconnect from many of the young people she knew. She said “They want to put in the minimum hours but still feel entitled to the opportunities and pay of the people they see above them.” In my work, I mostly interact with women in their 30’s and 40’s. I honestly don’t know if this is a real trend among recent grads – or is this something every generation says about the last?
 
A great friend and Head of HR for an IT company, who could be considered a workaholic herself, once said to me: “I can’t stand it when young people come to me and say they want new projects or a promotion, when they are not even doing what they were hired to do well in the first place. Come back to me when you’ve got your job down pat, and then we’ll look at more interesting projects – but until then, I don’t want to hear from you!” I certainly don’t put in the hours some of my clients do, but my conversation with my stepdaughter was still unsettling and made me wonder, do I care too much about my work? Was she right to pity me? But in the end, I decided because I am lucky enough to get paid for working with amazing women and I don’t feel other areas of my life suffer, I may be a workaholic – but at this point, I don’t care! Find more on women in business here.

Is Your Job a Poisoned Chalice?

Are women appointed to top jobs set up to be scapegoats for problems they didn’t create?  The Harvard Business Review recently looked at this phenomenon they called the “status-quo bias” where a male-run company that is doing well was looking for a new CEO, 62% would prefer a man. However, if the company was facing difficulties, 69% wanted a woman. Bruckmuller and Branscombe, the lead researchers say: “As long as a company headed by a man performs well, there is not a perceived need to change its leadership. Only if male leaders have manoeuvred an organisation into trouble is a switch to a female leader preferred”.
 
So it’s business as usual until there’s a problem. How do you climb the ladder while avoiding this glass cliff? Start off by accepting a degree of risk-taking is inherent in any job. However, as Michelle Ryan of the University of Exeter points out: “They are often appointments where everyone else is hanging back and the woman is approached by someone saying ‘you say you want more responsibility and to progress, here’s your chance.’ It is key to understand you will only be able to turn things around by getting the public support of senior staff and board members. Make this your first job before taking on any senior position. Find more stories on career planning here.